So I walked down to Yuk Yuk’s with the idea of just watching the show, dressing down and not expecting to do anything. But when I realized there was an extra guest spot available I jumped at the chance and took it, so here I go;

I wasn’t sure what to talk about, so I did material about being single, the troubles of dating and added in a new segment about women using code words when they want to have sex. I mentioned this to someone before, and it got some good laughs so I wanted to see if it translated to the stage and I got some laughs from it so it’s definitely got potential. See, the understanding I have is that men get attitude for being blunt to a woman and just asking if she wants to have sex, without any innuendo or double entendre it’s just “Do you want to have sex?” and although that blunt attitude can end up with a slapped face or complaints filed or a long lecture about inappropriate behaviour, I give it credit for being straight-forward compared to the women out there who use code words because they think it’s un-ladylike to proposition a man, so they say something they figure we’ll figure out. Like a woman once said to me “she really wanted a man to ‘mow her lawn’” and I’m confused as I don’t have a lawnmower and even still why ask me? Can’t you find a groundskeeping company? Or another will say “Oh, I’ve really needed someone to ‘clean out my pipes’ are you interested?” and again, I’m not a plumber and why don’t you just hire a guy? I don’t get it.

Mind you because of my low self esteem issues I don’t get it when a woman comes out and asks if I want to have hot meaningless sex, I just think to myself “Why is she asking me? What does she really want? Is this some kind of trick?” True story, when I was about 15 I was walking home with some friends and a car was sitting idling on the route home and as I walked up towards it the rear right passenger door opened up in my path and I looked inside and it was filled up with about 5 women, one of whom I recognized from my class, and one of them said to me “Get in” and I said “No thanks” and closed the door. One of my friends saw that and said to me “What are you? Insane? A car full of hot chicks tells you to get in and you say no and close the door?” I replied “Sure, I get in, and they drive me someplace and leave me naked on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, ha-ha very funny I’m not going to be the butt of their jokes” and walked home.

Maybe I was right, or maybe someone in that car was interested in me and I being the oblivious idiot that I am was ignoring them, so they wanted to get my attention, and I ignored them worse. Either way I’ll never know the truth but that’s just an example of how my mind works and continues to work.

Weird isn’t it?

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